Mitt Zombie
On My 12 Million Dollar Beach House

It’s not a 12 million dollar beach house. It’s an 11 million dollar beach house with a 1 million dollar #brain storage freezer. You have to be prepared!

On small game hunting

I’m not a big-game hunter. I’ve made that very clear. I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will. Small varmints have the more tender brains. But indeed - they are hard to catch.

51% of the people

51% of the people are disappointed in the choice of #brains. The other 49% are running from them. #gopdebate

GOP Debate tonight

#brains not the only thing important in tonights #gopdebate. Tendons important too.

All gussied up for the #gopdebate tonight

All gussied up for the #gopdebate tonight

On Pro-life

People ask if I am Pro-life. The truth of the matter is that I am, because we need the living. Without the living, how would we feed the undead? It simple logic really. I believe the Presidency should be a matter of following this simple logic. As the first undead President, I promise that America will be filled with new, fresh pro-life babies. And these babies will grow up, and their brains will be large, and delicious.

On Mormon Underwear

Say what you will about the funny underwear, these things are keeping my rotted arms on.

On the Economy

If you want to turn an economy around, the key thing is to grow jobs. How do we do that? Slowly chasing the living… that’s how we can rebuild this great country.

On Education

Education is the investment our generation makes in the future of larger brains to eat. 

On Marriage Equality

I feel very deeply about the need to respect and tolerate people of different tasting flesh and brain matter - or sexual orientation. But at the same time, I believe marriage should be preserved as an institution for one dead man and one dead woman.